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Even "academic performance" isn't a clear enough predictor. It isn't even a single axis!

I was a perfect student all through grade school; except I had terrible grades in almost every class. Why? Because I almost never did homework. I usually aced tests without even trying, though. And I could always provide meaningful input into class discussions. But that isn't enough for the strict traditional structure of academia.

Teachers would make me stay after school to try to catch up on homework, and I would just wait patiently until it was late enough in the evening that they would give up and let me go home. This was a recurring pattern from 4rth grade all through 12th. I only graduated high school because I finished hundreds of pages of make-up work over the last couple weeks.

The reality is I couldn't do homework. I could focus and sit still, which must have meant I don't have any attention or hyperactivity disorder...

...but that's not what ADHD is. It's an executive functioning disorder.

ADHD is being diagnosed more today because it has been incredibly under-diagnosed in the past. It's still significantly underdiagnosed in adults today.



This largely mirrors my experience. You know how people talk about addiction, and how they are "drawn" to their poison, like by some force? The polar opposite of that is what I felt with homework. Like trying to push two identical magnetic poles together.


> Like trying to push two magnetic poles together

...with atrophied hands.

I knew I could, I knew I should, but I could never do. I could only watch myself, never participate.

It's really validating to have words like "executive dysfunction" to describe this pattern, as opposed to "lazy", "tired", and "unmotivated" - which are all I had growing up.




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