This is absolutely true and it's been enormously helpful to me to actively seek out such information and have a more balanced perspective. An important difference seems to be that women very frequently get a lot of weird and problematic attention before they are big and it often outweighs the positives.

If you get enough positive attention and money out of it, putting up with some icky stuff can be worth it. But women frequently are facing a situation where it's far more downside than up in the early stages in a way that makes it actively difficult to even get traction.

I've spent a lot of years trying to come up with constructive mental models to help me more effectively navigate such things. I think it's problematic to frame it in strictly gendered terms. Among other things, this tends to make women feel like it's hopeless and can't be fixed.

I think women get raised to have private lives. Men get raised to have public lives. This ends up being self reinforcing.

I lived an extremely private life. I was a homemaker for a long time. Learning to effectively interact with the public has been a long, uphill slog.

It's perhaps been something of a gift that it's been so hard. The extremes of it have likely helped make some things apparent to me that may get overlooked by others due to being too subtle.

You have to grow thick skin. People will try to bring you down mentally. Doesn't even matter if you are famous, the world is full of people that will try to put themselves above you so that they can feel better about themselves. Its just that the more ppl you talk to the more of those you will interact with. Get moderators that will moderate public forums ( control your communication channels). Dont share stuff about your private life. Everything you say can and will be used against you.

My skin is pretty thick. "Don't share stuff about your private life." is probably the more pertinent bit of advice.

I think it's not obvious to women that men share less of such info "in public" because they often share such info with women, even women they barely know. I am often appalled at the degree to which total strangers overshare with me and just immediately trust me with info I really shouldn't be getting.

It took me an overly long time to conclude this is actually a behavior that's extremely problematic to be on the receiving end of. It helps keep women trapped in a private role (which people expect them to play for free) and helps keep them out of a public role (ie a role you would pay them money for).

In essence, people want me to be a shoulder to cry on and it actively prevents me from being taken seriously. They want me to play a wife or mom role and they expect to get that from me completely for free. I'm supposed to care out of the goodness of my heart.

It doesn't open doors for me to be trustworthy in that fashion. It closes them. It's an expectation of slave labor and it's nothing short of abusive treatment, especially when you consider I was also treated this way while literally homeless and going hungry.

That assumption that moms care for "free" is really an assumption that her husband makes good money and is providing for her.

If you aren't paying my bills or otherwise taking care of me in some kind of meaningful fashion, expecting me to "care" about you while you don't give a damn about my welfare and won't help me establish an adequate income is just shitty behavior.

And it's rampant. It's pretty much everywhere and from almost everyone. It's appalling.

Anyway, I've gotten better about figuring out how and where to draw that line (between public and private) and it's made life suck less. Onward and upward and all that.

Edit: It's late. I'm tired. I really meant to also make the point that women being deterred by ugliness on the internet is often a genuine safety concern and not them simply being thin skinned.

This is a real problem for women you that don't typically see for men.