I've had similar struggles. I found this comparison between Ableton's EQ Eight and Pro-Q by Dan Worrall [1] to be incredibly (and unexpectedly) informative on the subject. He is a very good teacher and an expert in the area. Maybe it might on your journey.

[1]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebBqP2PteAQ (be sure to watch from 15min+ onwards but the entire thing is a treat)