Same. That's way worse. For technical problems where an obvious and easy solution comes to mind, I'm fine saying something like "just" and fine with having it said to me. I'm expecting to either hear why the obvious solution won't work (learning more about the problem) or, less likely, give them help by pointing out something easy they happened to not think of.

"I'm really struggling to set up external authorization for the /download endpoint."

"Why don't you just use @external on it?"

Hopefully leads to either

"This endpoint needs to...[extra constraints]."

"Ah, gotcha."

or, less likely

"There's an @external?"

"Yeah, let me show you."

There are some differences between this and questions like "Why don't you just go for a walk to stop feeling depressed?". Maybe the biggest difference is these tech solutions are not paradoxical. Someone's depression may be defined by their inability to do something like go for a walk and enjoy it. Suggesting they do that is not helpful.

The questions are also more sincere. Like, I literally want to know why you're not doing the easy solution. I'm actually assuming that there's a good reason, like some extra constraint. That's why am I asking "why not?" instead of speaking in the imperative.

There's also a critical difference of the offered solution being much easier than the one attempted, or very easy overall. I might say "Why don't you just sort it alphabetically?" but I wouldn't say "Why don't you just make a DSL?".

I guess it's just that I think it's okay to act like something is small when you really believe it is for the person you're speaking with.

So what would you want people to say to you in that situation?

It's also true that at some point, if people are overly prickly, but the problem absolutely has to be solved, then it's going to be 'show me the logs of exactly what you've been doing, now go take a break and let me work on it.' That also will piss people off, most likely.

There's an awful lot of "it depends" to all of these scenarios. It may even be possible that there is, in fact, some scenario where I'd be OK with what's quoted above. But generally speaking, I would not be happy with something that comes off as smug and suggesting a "I'm the teacher, and you're the student, now let me show you how stupid you are" mind-set. But if the person speaking had the right standing in my world-view and I was really stuck, well then maybe I would tolerate that (even if it wouldn't be my preference).

I lean towards the kind of language I mentioned in another comment, with things like "Hmm... have you tried _______?" or "The first thing that occurs to me when I see ______ is ________" and so on. Or even "Do you think that maybe _________?"

"I've worked with similar problems in the past, let me know if you want to pick my brains" would be a much better start. Don't assume people want help, even if it seems crystal clear to you help is needed.

This. I’ve done the same mistake with a person who, due to their condition could not possibly _recognize_ there’s a problem.

To anyone who doesn’t relate to this - imagine being a perfectly “normal” human being (if there’s even such a thing) and someone walking up to you and saying straight up that you have a problem and need help and here’s the advice etc. The perfectly rational reaction to that would be the opposite of the intention.

On top of that, there’s always room for ourselves to be wrong and the person receiving the advice be right in their circumstance, so forcing our opinion on them just shows our own ignorance and inability to consider other points of view.