The layman's understanding of war is less guided by international law and more around ideas like "tit for tat". Eg if Hamas kills 1000 Israeli civilians, Israel is entitled to kill 1000 Palestinian civilians, but should stop after that.
Is it the better response under international law? Not necessarily, but it would be better PR.
One interesting comparison I saw is the Siege of Mariupol. The fighting there had very high rates of civilian deaths (per day, and also vs combatant deaths), but:
* a large portion of civilians (and thus civilian casualties) in Mariupol actually identify as ethnic Russians, so it seems unlikely Russia targeted them intentionally
* nobody has filed a genocide case against Russia on the basis of the large number of civilian deaths in Mariupol
My understanding is their civilian vs combatant ratio is lower than comparable urban conflicts. So it’s hard to respond “softer”.
Population adjusted, 10/7 was 10x+ worse than 9/11. Challenging to expect zero response.
So what else is there?